The Trial
by Phoenix Skyborne
Summary: The script of the episode that never was presented in story format. I wrote this in an attempt to 'flesh it out'. It's much more than just dialogue, people.
1. Part I

_AN: This is evidence of my extreme boredom, I suppose. I dislike reading scripts so I have written **The Trial** in story form. The dialogue is mostly the same as is the script (which I most certainly do not take credit for), although I have taken a few 'artistic liberties' and there might be a few differences in the plot. It will be presented in two to three parts. Enjoy… or something. _

**The Trial**

**Part I**

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment **

Excitement ran through the air like an electric current as the huge crowd of Irkens streamed into the imposing black structure known as The Spike of Judgment. They pushed and shoved against one another as they all vied for the seats with the best view of the tall platform in the middle of the huge stadium. The massive building was going to be filled to capacity, as everyone from the lowliest Drone to the highest ranking Taller were there if they could be. The buzz of conversation was nearly deafening as server drones weaved among the crowd, selling snacks of nachos and soda and souvenir t-shirts and hats, all emblazoned with the same violent message in bright red Irken lettering:

**Die Zim, Die!!!**

Needless to say, those particular articles of clothing were sold out within minutes.

The roar of the crowd increased a tenfold as the lights dimmed and a spotlight shone on the stage as the floating Control Brains suddenly appeared, and a tiny blindfolded and shackled figure ascended onto the stage. The huge monitors hovering around stadium rapidly flashed the name 'Zim', sending a fraction of the audience into epileptic seizures.

The Brains spoke in unison. "Irken Zim!" they boomed dramatically, voices echoing loudly among the crowd. "Your time has come! Prepare yourself for all you deserve!"

The restraints binding the tiny figure were suddenly released and the blindfold drifted slowly to the ground. Large crimson eyes blinked slowly and then squinted in confusion, looking around at the crowd and the floating monitors. An excited smile spread across the green face.

"Heyyy, a surprise party? Is that what this is all about?" the Irken known as Zim asked excitedly. "I was wondering why I was beaten up and transported from Earth to this place! A PARTY FOR ZIM!!!" he screeched, his amplified voice causing all the Irkens present to grab their antennae in pain and glare at him hatefully. He was, of course, oblivious.

"SILENCE!" the Brains demanded, their eyes glowing with a terrifying light. "All will be made clear, Zim!"

Zim crossed his arms and glared at the two floating Brains. "Geez, this is a party, lighten up," he muttered irritably. His eyes widened and he suddenly looked extremely nervous. "Hey, can I make a quick call?" he asked, and without waiting for a reply he dashed off to a call booth in the corner, ignoring the shouts for him to stop where he was.

----

**Location: Planet Earth – Zim's House**

Gir sat happily on the couch, a Suck Monkey clutched in front of him as he watched his favorite TV show, 'The Scary Monkey'. He giggled hysterically at the grunting beast and took a long sip of his drink, then let out a high pitched shriek of horror as the image on the screen suddenly disappeared and was replaced by another.

"MONKEY?! DON'T LEAVE ME, MONKEY!!" he wailed, his cyan eyes filling with tears.

"Forget the stinking monkey, Gir," Zim growled from the screen. "The Tallest invited me to this "party," and it's dead like… _death_." He looked over at something off screen. "Will you shut up! I'm on the phone here!" he shouted and then turned back to Gir who was still sniffling.

"That's soo saaaad," the robot sniffed.

"Until I get back, _you_ are in charge of the deadly orbital laser," Zim said. "It's simple: Just push the button."

Gir perked up as a small pedestal with a large red button on top suddenly rose up out of the floor. "Push the monkey?" he asked, pointing at the button.

Zim sighed heavily and raised a hand to rub his forehead. "Yes, Gir… the button is a monkey."

Gir squealed happily and pushed the button. A small window popped up on the screen next to Zim, displaying the deadly orbital laser array in orbit over the planet as it sent a glowing stream of doom down to earth.

"WOO!"

Zim nodded in approval. "See? Easy. You just keep doing that until I get back. Good work, Gir."

Gir's eyes flashed red as he saluted his master and then back to cyan as he gave a huge thumbs up, insanely pushing the button all the while. He didn't even notice when Zim cut the transmission and the Scary Monkey came back on.

----

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment **

Zim trotted back onto the stage and looked up at the Brains impatiently.

"C'mon, hurry up and praise me!" he snapped. "Every second I spend off Earth is time lost! _Zim time! _Cuz… _I am Zim!_" He paused and quirked an antenna. "Ya know?"

"It makes noises," the left Brain hissed.

"Bothersome noises," the right one added.

"We say nothing until the Tallest arrive," they said in unison.

There was a sudden screaming boom which shocked everyone into silence as the _Massive_ flew into view and came to an abrupt halt above The Spike of Judgment.

"The Tallest have arrived," the Brains said.

The Tallest materialized onto the stage, much to the delight of the crowd. They smiled and waved lazily to the cheering Irkens.

"Thank you. Thank you," Red said, nodding slightly and clasping his hands behind his back.

"Yes, thank you," Purple echoed. "Now… _be quiet!"_

There was immediate silence which was all to soon broken by a familiar annoying voice.

"My Tallest!" exclaimed a delighted Zim. "This really _is_ a surprise party!" He placed a hand on his chest. "You honor me deep in the most wobbly, gelatinous parts of my squeedlyspooch," he said sincerely.

Red and Purple looked at each other and then at Zim, their expressions hardly friendly.

"That's… great, Zim," Purple sighed and then looked to the Brains. "Start already!" he hissed.

"As you command," said the Brains. "SO IT BEGINS."

The crowd roared its approval as the cameras zoomed in on Zim. The Brains' eyes glowed red as the lighting changed to focus on the small Irken who waved enthusiastically at the cameras.

"Irken Zim," the Brains began ominously. "Prepare for Replay. All your memories will be made known. Your life for all to see and know."

Zim's eyes widened. "Ooooh. _My_ incredible _Zim_-life? _Neat_!"

Red and Purple shared an evil look as the Brains' eyes took on a strange light. Long, twisting cables snaked down from above and locked onto Zim's ID PAK, lifting him up into the air as monitor screens all around the stadium lit up, showing images from his past flashing by faster and faster.

"NOW, SEE YOUR PAST ZIM...," they droned. "YOUR PAST..."

"My future?" Zim asked excitedly.

"NO! Your PAST! Pay attention!"

Blackness…

"_Welcome to life, Irken child. Report for duty."_

"_I love you cold, unfeeling robot arm."_

----

**Location: Deep Within Planet Irk, Download Chamber – Minutes Later**

"Whee!" squealed the adorable newly-hatched smeet as he zoomed up the strange chute that had just sucked him up from the hatchery. He was disappointed when his fun ride came to an abrupt halt as he was deposited into a smeet-sized Download Chair. He looked around his new surroundings with interest, as wide-eyed and curious as any child. His tiny antennae twitched as a voice began to speak.

"You are two minutes old, little smeet. Prepare to be filled with the whole of IRKEN KNOWLEDGE!!"

"Okeedokee," the little smeet giggled.

The cables from the chair attached to the little smeet's PAK and his ruby eyes widened for a moment before he slumped over lifelessly. His tiny form began to spasm and twitch in an alarming manner as his body struggled to adapt to the massive influx of knowledge. It wasn't unusual for a newborn smeet to die before the download had completed. After several minutes of this the cables finally detached and the newborn awakened.

"UPLOAD COMPLETE!" the voice loudly said. "You have been given a name. IDENTIFY YOURSELF."

The smeet blinked for second and then straightened up the his full eight-inch height, looking as imposing (and adorable) as a naked newborn possibly could. "I am _Zim!_" he declared proudly. He squinted his eyes. "That was _all _the knowledge?" he asked skeptically. "_Boring!_ And so many mistakes. Forty-shmillion mistakes to be exact, starting with…"

He was interrupted as robotic fingers came down to shove him from the chair. Another smeet immediately took his place.

"I wasn't done yet!" Zim protested, scowling when he noticed the smeet that had taken _his_ chair. "Hey! Who are you?!" he demanded.

The other smeet blinked her violet eyes in confusion. "Ummm…" she said uncertainly.

"This is _my_ room! Get your own place!" He shoved the little female back into the delivery chute and within minutes it was clogged with screaming newborn smeets, the backup resulting in a huge power surge causing the entire activation chamber to malfunction. The screaming increased in volume as the room, along with all of planet Irk, was plunged into complete darkness.

----

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment**

There was total silence as all eyes in the stadium glared accusingly at Zim.

The Brains finally spoke. "That day came to be known as Horrible Painful Overload Day," they said. "Irk was plunged into darkness for five years."

Zim nodded proudly. "Impressive!" he boasted. "Most would be happy with two years, but me… five! Beat that, _you_!" He pointed to tiny janitorial drone who was quietly mopping the floor nearby. The drone started and looked up at him, raising an antenna in confusion in response to the ridiculous challenge.

----

**Location: Unknown – A Small Dark Place**

Two shadowy figures were watching the trial unfold on a small view screen.

"It's going well. He knows nothing."

"The fool!"

"Shhh! There's more!"

"_So… More Zim! Come on! **More Zim**!" _

----

**Location: Deep Within Irk – Military Training Area**

The classroom was filled with rows and rows of ten-year-old Irken smeets, each one wearing holo-visors and downloading new information into their PAKs. Every face was set in concentration as military simulations ran in their young minds. Every face, that is, save one.

Young Zim made a sound of disgust and pulled off the holo-visor covering his eyes, looking around with a sour expression.

"_Boring_! Ten years and we're still in this education plug! When do we get to see the planet's surface?!" He turned to the Irken on his left and jabbed him in the stomach with a finger, causing him to stumble and bump into the next Irken beside him. Both pulled off their holo-visors and glared at him. The two were quite noticeably taller than the other smeets in the room.

"What?" hissed the Irken he had nudged, his red eyes narrowed in irritation.

"When _I'm_ Tallest things will be different!" Zim declared loudly.

"_You? _Tallest?" snorted the one with purple eyes. "That's crazy!"

The red-eyed Irken nodded in agreement and both put their holo-visors back on.

"The people of Irk must know my _power_!" Zim hopped down into the row directly below him and grabbed the shoulders of the particularly short and chubby Irken in front of him. "Skoodge!" he hissed, yanking the holo-visor from the other Irken's head.

The chubby smeet let out a startled yelp and turned around. "Zim?"

"Skoodge!" Zim said again. "You look impressionable!"

"I sure am!" he agreed with a moronic grin.

"Excellent! Escape with me to the surface!"

"Sounds terrifying, but… okay!"

The two ran off, as happy as two idiots could possibly be. They kept running and running and running. Oh boy, did they run.

Until…

Zim and Skoodge jumped upward and out of a hatch, into a clearing between the levels of underground Irk, both panting for air.

"We're almost there, Skoodge!" Zim gasped out. "Can't you feel it, you fool?!"

Skoodge nodded enthusiastically. "I do! I do! I'm really feeling it too-day! Ahhh!"

Both froze as a security droid suddenly appeared in front of them, staring at the two motionless smeets.

"Quick, Skoodge!" Zim hissed out of the corner of his mouth. "Name that machine."

"Dermis Prowler Security Droid," Skoodge answered promptly, as though he was being quizzed.

"Good. And how do they function?"

"Detects motion. Homes in. Hurts _a lot_."

"Good work, Skoodge," Zim said with a nod of approval and promptly grabbed the other smeet, throwing him down the corridor, the droid immediately chasing after him.

Skoodge shrieked and dodged as the droid zoomed in after him. The chubby little Irken moved with surprising quickness and droid slammed into walls and machinery as Skoodge ran and dodged and jumped, each lunge causing more and more damage to the surroundings. An alarm began to blare loudly and Zim ran for the ladder leading to the surface a little ways off and quickly began to ascend it. Skoodge was hurled down the corridor, flying toward Zim.

"Catch me!" the airborne Irken shrieked in terror. "It wants my _brain_!"

Zim flashed Skoodge an absent thumbs-up as the other Irken sailed past, the security droid in hot pursuit and explosions resuming from below.

"Excellent work, Skoodge," Zim called down, oblivious to the chaos surrounding him. Heart pounding with excitement, he pushed open the hatch to the surface, nearly blinded by the sudden bright light.

"Freedom," Zim whispered in awe, his antenna standing up straight on his head, all senses alert to his new surroundings. "Hmm… A _pitiful_ world, waiting for me to make it _great_!" Zim smiled happily until he was distracted by an especially loud boom from below. A screaming Skoodge was sent blasting out of the hatch, the droid close behind. He smiled at the other smeet and shook his head. There was another loud explosion and all was plunged into darkness.

----

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment**

All was silent save for the sound of Zim's enthusiastic clapping. Everyone present was glaring at him even more hatefully than before.

"That day became known as Horrible Painful Overload Day Part II," the Brains said. "Four more terrible years of darkness for Irk."

"People _love_ darkness," Zim boasted proudly. "But enough of the past. Let us speak of the present. Do I get a little Zim statue? Some kind of award, perhaps?"

----

**Location: Unknown – A Small Dark Place**

The tall, shadowy figures were hunched over the view screen.

"Every word seals his own doom!" one declared dramatically.

"Soon we will be rid of Zim forever!" the other said ominously. "Hey!"

Light shone in on the two as the roof was suddenly lifted away, revealing the shadowy figures to actually be Tallests Red and Purple, who had been crouched under a blanket and holding flashlights up to their faces in a spooky manner. The janitorial drone pushing a laundry cart was holding the blanket in his hands.

"Oh! My Tallest!" the drone exclaimed, startled. "I didn't see you there."

The Tallests stood, coughing and rubbing the backs of their necks in embarrassment.

We are actually still in….

**Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment**

Red fumbled for an explanation. "Ehhh… uh… We were just…."

"We just got lost!" Purple blurted.

Red punched him in the shoulder. Purple punched him back, much harder. They scowled at each other.

"Hey!" Zim interrupted before their little spat could erupt into an all out brawl. "Pay attention! You're missing my party!"

"It's not a party, Zim!" Purple shouted back. "It's an Irken Existence Evaluation! And you're--!" His eyes widened and he slapped his hands over his mouth.

"Nice one, Pur," Red muttered with a harsh glare at his co-ruler.

"Existence Evaluation…?" Zim asked in confusion. "But those are for criminals… and space clowns…" His fists clenched briefly at the mention of the latter. Oh, how he _hated_ space clowns.

For no apparent reason, an adorably tiny Irken smeet suddenly appeared next to Purple and tugged on his robe.

"Mista' Purple? Tell me all about the Irken Existence Evaluation." the little smeet asked, blinking up at him with large red eyes.

"Well, you see Timmy," Purple began in a kind and wise voice, kneeling down to the smeet's level and patting him on the head. "It's a trial for malfunctioning Irkens. You know what a trial is, doncha' Timmy?" Purple asked, poking Timmy in the belly, causing the little smeet to giggle adorably. It's so cute it makes you want to vomit rainbows. "Of course you do." The tall Irken smiled. "Say, you see this ID PAK on your back?"

"Nope! My head don't turn that far," Timmy giggled.

"Awww!" went the crowd, about to die from a massive overdose of the cute.

Red laughed and joined Purple in kneeling down beside Timmy. "Well, we _all_ wear them," Red chimed in. "They hold the collective memories of all the Irkens before us. Our personalities, our power, our high scores, all in here," he said, lightly tapping Timmy's ID PAK with a long finger.

Purple nodded. "But _some_ Irkens," At this point he glared over at Zim. "They get fitted with damaged ID PAKs. These people are called Defectives and must be deactivated, erased, never to be remembered."

"A world that does not remember Zim?" Zim exclaimed, aghast and as he looked around himself nervously.

"Thank you Mista' Purple," said an elated Timmy. "I smart now!"

Purple's eyes narrowed. "The child knows too much," he hissed to Red who nodded in agreement. "To the dungeons with it!"

Guards suddenly leapt in and dragged the screaming smeet out of view.

"Um… I think there might be a mistake," Zim said and began to fidget nervously. "This is _good_ stuff you're all watching. Why am I on trial?"

"Good stuff?" hissed the left Brain.

"It thinks there is good stuff?" said the right one.

"IT IS DOOMED!" the Brains boomed.

Zim looked around himself, noticing the hateful stares of the crowd for the first time. The Tallests collapsed against each other as they began to laugh insanely, the audience soon following suit. The Brains lifted Zim into the air again and even _they_ were laughing now. Zim shivered as his squeedlyspooch clenched unpleasantly. He was now fully aware that things were looking very, very bad for him.

**End Part I **

_Well, there's the first part._

_Love it? Hate it? Think I butchered it horribly? Tell me. ;-p_


	2. Part II

**The Trial**

**Part II**

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment**

The Irken Zim sat cross-legged on the stage of The Spike of Judgment, engrossed in the hand-held video game he was playing and completely ignoring all that was happening around him. A guard walked up and nudged him in the side with a shock-stick. He yelped and jumped to his feet.

"Hey! Pay attention Zim!" the Brains snapped. "You're on trial here!"

"Wha?" Zim asked dazedly and shook his head in an attempt to clear it. "Oh, yes. _That_." He frowned and crossed his arms as he was lifted into the air again.

The screens in the stadium lit up and began to play another scene from Zim's past.

----

**Location: Planet Vort – Vortian Science Lab**

Zim smoothed the folds of his clean white scientist robe as he stood impatiently at the end of a row of about nine other researchers. He leaned forward to peer down toward the far end of the room as the wide double-doors suddenly opened and a small group of Irkens entered. They were led by a very tall female with kind green eyes and long curled antennae. Her robes were the exact same shade of green as her eyes.

The head scientist, a male Irken about a foot taller than Zim with dark red eyes, stepped forward and saluted as she approached.

"Tallest Miyuki, welcome to Vort Research Station 9. You honor us with your visit," he said with a small bow.

Miyuki smiled and inclined her head slightly in response. "Tell me what my finest minds are dreaming up for the Empire," she said, clasping her hands behind her back and gazing around at her surroundings.

"Well, my Tallest, there's our infinite energy producing thingy," he said, gesturing to a pulsing energy generator nearby. "And Lard Nar here has begun work on preliminary designs for your new Bludgeon class fleet leader."

Lard Nar, a Vortian, proudly stepped forward and saluted Miyuki. He punched a few keys on the electronic clipboard he was holding and up popped a holographic model of what would one day be known as the _Massive_.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Zim stepped out of his place in the orderly row scientists and darted over to stand before Tallest Miyuki.

"Dookie!" Zim said and pointed to the holographic ship. "That thing'll never fly!"

Miyuki stared down at the small Irken with a disdainful expression and raised one antenna slightly in a questioning gesture. "Operator, who is this little creature?"

The head scientist fidgeted for a moment and cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Eh… This is Zim, my Tallest," he answered finally, bringing a hand to his temple in an attempt to ward off an oncoming headache. "A transfer from Irk. He destroys everything he touches, so they figured he'd excel at military research."

"Enough praise!" Zim interrupted. "Look! I've made an infinite energy _absorbing_ thingy!" he announced, producing a small and rather cute little blob from his pocket. "It's chubby!"

The creature had a leather collar with a tag around its 'neck'. Zim sat it down on the floor and the odd little thing immediately began to roll toward the energy generator.

"No!" shouted the head scientist. "Keep it away from the infinite energy producing thingy!" He dived forward in an attempt to intercept the blob but it was too late. The creature had already reached the device and quickly engulfed it. It rapidly doubled, tripled in size, bursting out its collar and continuing to grow until it towered over every person in the room. Before anyone had time to react, it let out a deafening roar and lunged forward, completely engulfing Tallest Miyuki. Everyone present, save Zim, screamed in horror and scattered as it rampaged out of the building, leaving absolute chaos in its wake.

----

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment **

Zim was dropped roughly to the floor as the scene on the monitors ended. There was again total silence as everyone stared at him in shock and anger. The Tallest were trembling in fury. Not even _they_ had know about this. Red was the first to speak. Purple merely stared off into the distance, his expression blank.

"Almighty Tallest Miyuki was eaten by a giant blob because of you?!" he roared. Every Irken in the audience shrank back in their seats a bit as they witnessed his fury. Even Zim shivered momentarily.

"Um, no," he began uncomfortably, looking down at his feet. "She called me just last week. Yeah… she's doin' fine. Really." He looked up hesitantly.

Red only glared at him hatefully. Purple finally snapped out of his trance and floated forward a few feet, the expression on his face clearing conveying that he would like nothing more than to rip Zim apart with his bare hands.

"The is a horrible discovery," the Brains said somberly. "And not one to be taken lightly. Now, let's break for lunch!"

----

Zim sighed and moodily jabbed at the food on the tray before him. The chains shackling him to his chair chimed softly as he shifted in his seat and glanced up warily at the two guards standing at attention behind him, then over to the table where the Tallest were having lunch. The crowd surrounding Red and Purple oddly reminded him of the 'popular table' back at skool. He frowned worriedly as he thought of Earth.

"This is taking forever," he mumbled to himself, gripping a fork with both hands and slowly bending it in half. He threw it down to join his already deformed spoon and knife. "I never should've left Gir in charge. I don't even want to _think_ about how badly he's failing on Earth."

----

**Location: Planet Earth, Night**

It turned out that Zim _did_ have reason to worry, although it was far from the reason he thought.

Gir was doing just fine. Wonderful in fact.

You see, he had already succeeded in accomplishing what his master had failed to do time and time again.

All of humanity was bowing down at his little doggy feet.

Gir happily slurped a Suck Monkey as two humans dressed in replicas of his green dog costume fanned him with large palm leaves as he reclined on his throne located at the top of a very green pyramid. Huge statues of Gir were everywhere.

Another human in a Gir costume appeared next to the throne. "You have conquered our people with your mighty laser weapon," he proclaimed dramatically. "We thank you. All hail our new master, this… strange LUMPY LITTLE DOGGY!"

The huge crowd amassed below cheered and the human placed a shiny silver medallion around Gir's neck.

Gir examined it and squeaked his approval, then took another long sip of his drink.

----

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – Court Cafeteria**

Zim sighed for the fortieth time and continued to pick at his food. He was half asleep from boredom but he perked up a little as he caught a bit of the conversation between two passing Irkens.

"So whaddaya think? Defective of innocent?"

"Oh, Zim? Defective all the way. The Evaluation's just a formality so they can get rid of Zim officially."

Zim straightened, his antennae flattening against his skull in shock. "Formality?" he said to himself and then shook his head. "Nonsense! Justice will prevail. The Tallest will see to it!" He nodded to himself and began to munch on a curly fry.

The Tallest pushed their trays away and stood.

"Okay! Break's over!" Red announced loudly. "Let's get this formality over with!"

Zim's eyes widened in dread and he coughed as he nearly choked on his food.

----

**Back at The Spike of Judgment…**

Zim was roughly tossed back onto the stage by the guards that had been watching over him at lunch. He landed on his knees and remained there, pale and sickly looking, panting harshly. For the first time since arriving here he was actually scared for his life.

"Evaluation has resumed!" announced the Brains. "Prepare for more of Zim's terrible Replay!"

The Brain on the right seemed to convulse slightly. "But… his data makes my brain hurt," it said in a stained voice. "We need more brains to filter the pain."

"Excuse me!" Zim interrupted, his voice quite a bit smaller than usual. He stood shakily. "How about for a change we show some of my… glorious acts of obedience!" He suggested, his voice gaining more confidence as he spoke. "Like during Invader training!" he suggested brightly.

Cables connected to his PAK and he was lifted into the air again. Zim gestured for the Tallest to pay attention as the screens around the stadium began to flicker with images.

----

**Location: Planet Devastis – Auditorium **

Rows of Invader trainees stood at attention as their new Tallest of two weeks addressed them. Almighty Tallest Spork was a rather… unattractive male, with a large forehead and beady little eyes.

"As your new Tallest I am proud to say that you Invaders in training are the future of the Empire!" Tallest Spork said. "I'm still taller than you, though. Salute me!"

All of the Invaders-to-be promptly saluted, including Zim.

"Hoo!"

---

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment**

Zim gestured to the image that was now frozen on the monitor screens.

"See?" he asked hopefully. "You like obedience."

Red squinted his eyes and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Wait a minute," he murmured. "I think I remember more happening that day."

The images on the screens resumed.

----

**Location: Planet Devastis – Auditorium **

Tallest Spork had finished his speech and the previous attentive Invaders-to-be were now wandering around the auditorium, mingling with other trainees or going up to shake Tallest Spork's hand.

Zim was chatting with a much younger Red and Purple. Well, Zim was doing most of the talking. The other two Irkens looked like they just wanted to get away from him as soon as possible. Finally, Purple was unable to take anymore.

"Zim! You've done nothing but rain horror down on the Empire since the day you were born… and now they're training you to become an Invader?! Why?!" Purple clutched at his head. "_Why?!_ I mean… That's just _sick_!" Red put a hand on his friend's shoulder as he seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating.

Zim smiled and nodded, apparently having taken in absolutely nothing Purple had just said. "Hah. Flattery aside, when _I'm_ Tallest I will make the Empire rue ever having made me wait so long to rule them!" He shook a fist threateningly.

Red sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, if _I_ were Tallest I'd probably put you on trail to defend your life." He nodded his head. "Yep. That's probably what I'd do. Mmmhmmmm."

Once again Zim seemed not to have heard anything that was just said; he was too busy fiddling with a small silver disc hanging from a leather collar he held in his hands.

The mostly recovered Purple peered over at it curiously. It was common knowledge that he was easily distracted by shiny objects. "Hey, what's that thing?" he asked.

Zim glanced up. "Oh, this?" he asked, holding up the object for them to see it better. "It used to belong to my infinite energy absorbing thingy back before it grew monstrous and nearly wiped out all of outer space. Remember that?" His face took on the fond expression of one recalling a particularly pleasant memory. "That little guy used to love this thing. I'm surprised he hasn't come back for it after all these-"

The rest of his sentence was drowned out as the ceiling suddenly exploded inward and the indescribable horror that was now Zim's infinite energy absorbing blob dropped down into the auditorium, sending terrified trainees scattering. It let out a deafening roar and in a flash, grabbed Tallest Spork and swallowed him whole.

Chaos reigned supreme.

----

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment**

Zim frantically waved his arms in an attempt to distract the crowd from the chaos on the monitors. "_Hey!_ No using two blob flashbacks in a row! That's a rule, right?!"

Red and Purple were reeling in shock and clutching at each other to keep upright.

"It's even more horrible than I remember," Red moaned. "Tallest Spork eaten by Zim's blob too… like he was just a chew-shmoop!"

"YOU are responsible for the death of TWO Almighty Tallest?!" the Brains roared.

"_No! Spork's fine!" _he shouted defensively._ "_C'monnnn!"

You could practically feel the hatred in the room.

"Well, look," he continued desperately. "What about the glory of my performance in Operation Impending Doom I?"

----

**Location: Planet Irk – Irken Military Launch Zone, Night **

Zim stood at attention before Tallest Red and Purple who were looking at each other worriedly. They finally turned their attention to the small Irken.

"Okay, Zim!" Purple began importantly. "This is the Empire's finest hour and _you're_ in charge of watching everything from this circle."

Zim glanced around at the shakily drawn chalk circle he was standing inside. "But-"

"No no!!" Red interrupted. "Don't leave this circle. Do us proud Zim!" he called as he and Purple began to back away.

Zim saluted and they turned away, both chuckling softly.

Zim's expression was one of absolute, intense concentration as he stood perfectly still, trying his hardest to obey his Tallest's orders.

But ultimately, the lure of destruction proved too mighty to resist.

"_My empire needs meeee_!" he shrieked and leapt dramatically up and out of the circle, landing in a painful-looking roll and running off.

----

A random Irken was wandering around the launch zone, looking vaguely confused. "Hey," he called out. "Has anyone seen Frontline Battle Mech #4? I'm supposed to – AHHH!"

A battle mech walked into view and began to wreak havoc, familiar maniacal laughter drifting out from the cockpit.

----

**Sometime Later… **

Zim was standing giddily before a small Control Brain inside one of the few buildings left standing after his rampage across Irk. It was obvious he was on trial and a slightly battered-looking Red and Purple were observing from the sidelines. The battle mech Zim had previously been piloting was just outside standing among the smoking ruins.

The Control Brain spoke. "INVADER ZIM, FOR SINGLE-HANDEDLY RUINING OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM ONE--!"

"Hey!" Purple interrupted. "Where'd Zim go?!"

Immediately a tank rolled by outside, Zim's head poking up from the top of it.

"I'm an Invader! Lookit me go! Woooo!"

----

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment **

Zim laughed nervously. "Uh… Boy, those days sure were great, huh?"

"You're a monster, Zim! Everything you touch gets destroyed!" Red shouted.

"Hey! Not _everything_ I do ends in horrible explosions!"

The monitor screens began to Replay a quick series of scenes showing things going horribly wrong because of Zim. Satellites spark and explode, giant monsters rampage, little monsters rampage, medium monsters rampage. Zim watched skittishly and nervously flashed the Tallest a thumbs up. They glared back at him.

Finally as scene popped up showing Zim standing in a beautiful, peaceful field.

Zim gestured to the scene with a pleased expression. "See! That's peaceful-like!"

On the screen Zim scratched his butt and the scene switched to a view of the planet from space.

The planet promptly exploded.

Zim whirled to glare at the Brains. "Hey! We said no more explosions!" he ranted. "Cheating! Cheating!" He waved his arms angrily.

Red looked disgusted. "We've seen enough, Zim. You've been nothing but a curse to the Empire. If Tallest Miyuki or Spork were here, they'd say so, too."

Purple nodded in agreement but said nothing.

Zim stared at them for a beat and then an unreadable expression crossed his face. "Well, as a matter of fact," he began in a calm tone. "I call as a surprise witness, Tallest Spork!" he proclaimed and gestured to the audience. There were shocked gasps and cries as Tallest Spork rose up to be seen standing among the crowd.

"Yes, I have returned from my vacation to re-claim my rightful position as leader of the Irken empire! Isn't that nice? My first act shall be to pardon the mighty and beneficial Invader Zim!"

"Yeeehooo!!" Zim squealed raising his arms over his head in triumph. He leapt off the stage and ran out of the stadium.

A dumbstruck Red and Purple did nothing to stop him, even as he sped away from planet Judgmentia in his Voot Runner. The two slowly shook off their shock and blinked at each other, then began to tentatively approach the Tallest, who continued to speak.

"...and as my twenty-fifth act as leader, I order the construction of the Invader Zim commemorative nacho palace..."

The two Tallest stopped beside the apparently resurrected Spork. Red's eyes narrowed in suspicion

"Heyy...waitaminnit..." he said and cautiously poked Spork in the arm with a finger. There was a hiss as air began to escape from the hole made with his claw. The Spork blowup doll rapidly deflated.

Purple knelt down and retrieved a voice recorder that was still spouting Spork speech. His hand clenched around it and the voice stopped as the recorder shattered into pieces.

----

Out in space, Zim's ship was seized by a tractor beam. Hard. He was flung forward from his seat and his head struck against the dashboard, knocking him senseless. When his senses returned, he was back at The Spike of Judgment, a horrible pain in his head and horrible chains on his limbs. Two huge guards stood on either side of him. They growled menacingly as he struggled to stand.

Red and Purple glared down at him evilly.

"Nice try, Zim," Red smirked.

"I wanna know why he had and inflatable Spork with him," Purple said, looking highly disturbed.

"We have our ruling," the Brains spoke.

Zim's eyes widened and he bit his lip.

The Tallest looked thrilled.

"Man, no more Zim," Purple whispered excitedly to Red. "Imagine that!"

"I know… I've been imagining it my whole life!" Red whispered back.

"OUR RULING: Irken Zim's ID PAK is damaged and has led to a corrupt data path. He is... A DEFECTIVE."

The audience cheered and confetti rained down from above. Red and Purple high-fived each other ecstatically.

Zim whimpered and seemed to shrink into himself.

The Brains continued with their ruling. "Irken Zim's data is not allowed to into the collective. His PAK will be removed, and erased."

"But… I can't live without my PAK," Zim protested, his eyes widening.

"Awww... Wow. Too bad. Tough one, Zim!" Purple snickered.

Zim began to struggle with his chains but froze as he felt his PAK disconnect. He sank to his knees as data cables from the Brains connect to his PAK and began to drain it of all information. His life was ending right before his eyes.

"No! This is a mistake!" he shouted in panic. "Have I mentioned that _I am Zim_?!"

The Brains' eyes flashed as the data flowed into them…

----

**Location: Freaky Cybernetic Zone**

The virtual reality world inside of the Brains was a vast and surreal techno landscape. Ones and zeroes rapidly flashed by as the information from Zim's PAK was processed. Zim's voice began to echo strangely through the void.

"_Come, GIR. Let us rain some doom down upon the heads of our doomed enemies_."

"_I am filled with goo... mission goo!"_

"_Lemony fresh victory shall be mine!"_

"_GIR! What are you doing?"_

"_My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Taaaaaaallist! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? It's me! My Tallest? My Tallest!"_

"_You're nothing Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!"_

"**Something** **wrong... so much... bad data... passing through us all at once... cannot process... the horror... Going... insane!"**

----

**Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment **

The cheering stadium fell silent as sparks and sounds of gibberish began to emit from the Brains.

A very pale Zim looked up in amazement as he was suddenly released from his restraints and his PAK was replaced. His coloring immediately improved.

The Brains giggled dementedly. "Invader Zim, for your heinous crimes… we declare you… THE MOST INCREDIBLE IRKEN EVER!!!"

Zim smiled. "Hey, thanks. I really am."

Red and Purple both leapt forward angrily.

"No!" Purple shouted. "You can't do that! He's a defective! You already ruled!"

"Ohhh, LIGHTEN UP! LITTLE...BUMBLE BEE...aargh...THE MADNESS..."

The Tallest stared at the deranged Control Brains in disbelief.

"So close," Red whimpered. "_So close_!"

All of the onlookers seemed to be in a state of shock as Zim strutted around the stage, smiling and waving to the cameras.

"AND for being YOU, Zim, we grant you ten free minutes of piloting the MASSIVE!!"

----

**Location: Space – The Massive**

In space…. no one can hear you scream.

Inside a space craft, however, it's an entirely different story.

"Woooohooooo!" Zim whooped, as gleeful as a kid at an amusement park, as he recklessly piloted the Massive, sending crewmembers scrambling to find something to hold onto. "You guys really had me going! Thank you, my Tallest!!"

Red and Purple were directly behind him, collapsed in each other's arms and weeping uncontrollably.

"So… close…"

"Curse… you… Zim…"

----

**Location: Planet Earth – Zim's House, Night**

Back on Earth, everything seems to have mysteriously returned to normal. A car pulled up in front of Zim's house; the passenger door opened and a small green dog hopped out, a Suck Monkey clutched on one paw and a hot dog in the other.

The human that had given the speech on the pyramid leaned out and smiled at him. "Too bad about you being overthrown as leader of Earth, and everything being returned to normal," he said. "But hey, things happen. We'll all see you at the rave tomorrow night, right?"

Gir squeaked and nodded in response. He waved as the car pulled away then turned and headed into the house.

A fraction of a second after the door closed, the top of the house opened as Zim's Voot Runner descended from the sky and dropped into the hanger, the roof closing after it.

----

Gir sat happily on the couch almost finished with his hot dog and drink, empty cups and candy wrappers surrounding him. Zim descended from the ceiling, frowning in irritation when he spotted Gir and the mess around the couch.

"Lookit this place! I leave and the whole mission grinds to a halt! Gah!" He threw his hands up and turned to march over to the toilet in the kitchen.

Gir squeaked and raised his hot dog in greeting.

Zim waved absently behind him. "Yes, yesss. It's good to see you too," he muttered as he flushed himself down to his lab.

Gir turned on the TV and began to watch the Scary Monkey Show. He finished his hot dog and drink and tossed the empty cup onto the floor to join the others. After watching TV for a few more minutes he reached into his pocket and pulled out the medallion he was given earlier. He suspended it in front of him by its chain as he studied the words inscribed on it.

KING GIR: RULER OF EARTH

Gir giggled to himself and slipped it back into his pocket, then hopped off the couch to go find his rubber piggy.

END

_AN: Well, that's that. Yep… The End… Eh. _


End file.
